About
Hi, I'm Phill.
I coach gay men. That's not a niche I fell into — it's the work I chose after eighteen years of sitting with people.
The short version
I've spent more than eighteen years working with people — first as a personal trainer, then as a coach. Years of sitting one-on-one with men who looked like they had it together and privately didn't.
What it taught me is simple: the men I work with aren't short on discipline or ambition. They're short on something quieter — the sense that they're allowed to want what they want, and safe to show up as they actually are.
My experience isn't academic. It's lived, one person at a time.
Training
What I'm trained in
NLP Master Practitioner
NLP Worldwide, Sydney · 2011
The most advanced level of NLP certification. It's the training behind the tools I use when we work with a pattern directly rather than just talking about it.
Authentic Education
Professional coaching & personal development · 2024
Formal coach training: structure, ethics and the craft of holding a coaching relationship properly.
Certificates available on request.
The focus
Why I work with gay men
Most coaching is written for a generic person. But the patterns many gay men carry don't come from nowhere — they come from growing up monitoring yourself, from an adolescence spent protecting a secret, from learning to read a room before you learned to say what you want.
That leaves marks. It shapes how you ask for things, how you handle rejection, how much of yourself you hand over in a relationship, and how much you believe you deserve.
I don't think that's a problem to be fixed. I think it's a pattern to be understood — and then changed, in the places it no longer serves you.
I've written more about where these patterns come from in the articles.
How I work
Reconnect. Reclaim. Rise.
Not a rigid script. A structure that adapts to where you are.
Reconnect
Get specific about what's actually running — your needs, values, emotions and patterns.
Reclaim
Choose yourself. Communicate what you need, set boundaries, trust your decisions.
Rise
Take the new learning into your life and behave in ways that reflect who you want to be.
A note on what this is — and isn't
I'm a coach, not a therapist or a clinical psychologist. I don't diagnose, treat or claim to do the work of therapy.
What I do is structured coaching: understanding the pattern, changing the response underneath it, and practising something different in real life. Many of my clients also see a therapist, and the two work well side by side.
If you're in crisis or need clinical support, coaching isn't the right starting point. Please reach out to a professional service in your country first.
Let's talk
If you recognise yourself in any of this, the next step is a conversation. No pressure, no obligation.